This is the Moment

My journey to this blog began, innocently enough, a few months ago while sitting in Church. The Gospel reading was a familiar one. In Luke 10:39-42, we hear the story of Martha and Mary. Martha eagerly welcomes Jesus into her home, and begins serving him, so much so that Scripture tells us she felt "burdened" with all she had to do. At the same time, her sister Mary, sits at the feet of Jesus and listens to Him speak. In typical Martha style, she asks the lord if he is okay with Mary doing nothing and leaving it all up to her (paraphrased of course). Yet Jesus surprises Martha with His reply, "there is need for only one thing. Mary has chosen the better part..." Sitting there and listening to this reading, I found myself dazing in and out of attention as I had heard this verse countless times before. However, as Father began his homily, I began to see this story in a much more personal way. Father simply stated that Mary was "in the moment." This shook me! I began to think about all the times in my life, and in my ministry where I find myself anywhere but "in the moment." As a Youth Minister setting up a Life Night, how often do I find myself more concerned with the "flow" of the evening than I do the moments in which God is working on the hearts of His youth. I asked myself, when was the last time I took a step back, literally and figuratively, at a youth event and reveled in the amazing work God is doing in the hearts and lives of these teens? Sadly the answer was, not very often. This idea of being "in the moment" translates into my life outside of ministry as well. There are several areas in my life in which I am never content in the present, rather always concerning myself with what is to come. And like Martha, I become burdened or stressed about things that are completely out of my control, rather than experiencing the joy of the present. My most recent example of this is in the new life of my one-week old baby girl Emily Grace. As a father, you find yourself pondering what will the future hold for this little girl? What can I do to assure that her future is strong and successful? Then she looks up at you and makes a new face you have never seen before, your heart melts and you are brought quickly back to the present time in which you fall in love with this girl more and more everyday. I believe that if we begin to truly focus on the present, the day at hand, that we will see how great our lives are. Think to yourself about the frustrations on your heart and mind, and then ask yourselves are those future areas of concern or present. Obviously we face trials in our present lives, but wouldn't we be more equip to address those without adding on the stresses of future crosses. Throughout the Gospels we read about the anxious nature of some of Christ's apostles. At times they seem so interested in the future events that they are blind to the presence of Christ standing before them. Therefore, I leave you (and myself) with this question. Is it possible that in our attempts to control and regulate future trials, we are closing our eyes to the ways in which God is working in our lives right now? In a world full of Martha's, perhaps it is time we learn to be a little more like Mary.

Just 4 Years Ago...

It is amazing to think about what can happen over 4 years. In 4 years, you can graduate High School. In 4 years, I hear that some people (keyword SOME) graduate College. Well in my case, in 4 years I have seen my life completely changed. Before I go any further I must be clear that I am far from where I want to be as a man of God, and yet a lot closer than I was 4 years ago. 4 years ago, I naively accepted a job as a Life Teen Youth Minister. Before I could begin this ministry, I needed to head out to the Life Teen Training in Arizona. However, God decided that he would start to kick my butt a little before I even left. The reality was that at this point in my life, I was very proud to SAY I was Catholic, but not so great at actually BEING Catholic. I had been in the same, unhealthy relationship with this girl for many years, and around this same time I had finally decided to cut ties. Although I was free from this bad relationship, the single life was not doing my soul and favors. Rather than seeing this single life as a chance to grow closer to God, I saw it as a green light for selfish sin. As the date of my Arizona trip grew closer, particular events in my life began to occur at a chaotic speed. Looking back I feel that perhaps God knew I needed to have a few things in line before I even got to Arizona, and knowing that the Dumb (soon to be) Youth Minister wouldn't be willing to act on it, God forced his way in. The first life-changing event occurred with the passing of my best friend and dearly loved Nana. My Grandma, Judi Cull (Nana), passed away not so suddenly after a long fight with cancer. I grieved. This woman absolutely helped me become the man I am today. To some this may have been the biggest kick-start that God could give, however the biggest would come immediately after. Keep in mind the whirlwind speed at which God began to shake my life. On the day my Nana passed, I was set to have my first date with this beautiful woman Amber. Through my mourning, I knew that there was no way I could miss this night with Amber. Mostly because I was not sure that she would agree to another date. When the most beautiful woman you have ever seen agrees to a date, you DO NOT give her a chance to wise up to the fact that you are not worthy! The date was amazing, but it was the 2nd date a few days later that sealed the deal for me. Amber invited me to her father's ordination into the Diaconate of the Catholic Church. As I met Amber in the pews of the Cathedral, I remember kneeling with her to pray. Now keep in mind that 4 years ago if I made Mass on a Sunday I was doing pretty good! As we knelt together, I felt an undeniable presence, as if God had wrapped His arms around us as a sign of approval. That evening as I prepared my bags for Arizona, I told Amber that I simply had to be her boyfriend.

The next morning I boarded the plane to Arizona. For the sake of keeping this already long blog to being any longer, I must summarize my experience at Life Teen's Training Convention. Simply put, for the first time I was surrounded by men and women who were doing there best to live out their faith, and this intrigued me. The mass moved me like it had never moved me before, the speakers spoke of God as if he was a personal friend, and men and women visually witnessed the beauty of a family and in the last night, as I went to the Sacrament of Reconciliation, my life began to change. God made it very clear to me that he had a plan for me, IF I would allow Him to take control. His plan began as soon as I returned home to my new beautiful girlfriend Amber. Over a seemingly innocent lunch, I shared my experience with Amber, and I then told this woman whom I had only known for 2 weeks that I was going to marry her. As I awaited her response, my heart beating hard, a sudden rush of peace came over me as she replied, "I would be surprised if you DON'T marry me." As I am sitting here today, Amber and I have been married almost 2 years now, and in July we will be expecting our first born, a little girl named Emily Grace.

I need to conclude this by re-stating that fact that I am in no way a changed man, and I recognize that I am far from being the man that I want to be. With that said, in the past 4 years God has allowed me to work with the youth of His Church at 3 different parishes. Through the ministry of Life Teen, I have had the honor and the pleasure of seeing countless teens and their families begin to see God as a friend just like the speakers at my first Convention. In my personal life, I strive daily to die to myself ( I also FAIL daily to die to myself). But I can honestly say that God is now a part of my everyday life. I could definitely learn to listen a little more closely to His wants and commands, but nonetheless He is with me everyday of my life. If I have learned anything (which is questionable) over the past 4 years it is that God's plan is very much not our plan, and I think that's a good thing. When we allow God to take control of our lives, great things can happen. In my case, my great things are my beautiful wife, His ministries and of course my little angel Emily Grace whom we eagerly await!

Here Goes Nothin'...

And so it begins...

My name is Brennen Cull and I am a Catholic Youth Minister in Folsom,CA. Four years ago, God decided it would be funny to make me (a very unworthy man) a Youth Minister. And to really turn up the heat, at the same time He lead me into ministry, he also introduced me to my future wife and best friend (that story will be forth coming). Over the past four years God has shown what he can do with a unintelligent, but mostly willing, man. Lately, it has been on my heart to begin sharing my love of God with as many people as possible. All signs began to point towards blogging. I have been hesitant to start a blog because, let's be honest, blogging creates the assumption that people care what you have to say. However, as has been His way, God gets what he wants. So here I go!

This morning as I logged on the site to begin this amazing journey which will forever change the world of blogging (I must stay positive), I was met with my first stressful situation....what will my title be? It must be great, thought provoking, and if possible, subtly humorous. I mean this title may live on forever in Blogger infamy. As I randomly open the bible hoping to find some great message in our Father's word, I found that I did not approve of his choices of titles. I just did not think that 1 Chronicles 2:3 had that catchy ring to it that I was longing for, "...But Judah's first-born, Er, was wicked in the sight of the Lord, so he killed him." As I put down the bible, I decided that perhaps my muse could be found in the distinctive url that I was searching for. After several failed attempts at availability, I decided why not try the most obvious? Sure enough on the first try, dumbyouthminister.blogspot just so happen to be available (as fore mentioned God has one great sense of humor).

With my very appropriate name in place, I look forward to beginning this next phase in sharing my faith. As the title alludes, I am not a brilliant man or mind. I do not say this with any sense of self-pity or as an attempt at self deprecating humor. I recognize that I am not necessarily a dumb man (the point may be argued), however as we read in Isaiah 55:9, "As high as the heaven are above the earth, so high are my ways above your ways and my thoughts above your thoughts." Simply put, I am honored t have the opportunity to serve the Youth of His Church, and count myself lucky to have those rare moments of clarity in regards to His love for us. It is not clear yet where this blog will lead, but I look forward to sharing my stories and thoughts, as well as my questions, with anyone who is interested in listening. Thank you for taking the time to check out my first entry, hope you will continue to check in with me from time to time.

For His Glory