Just 4 Years Ago...

It is amazing to think about what can happen over 4 years. In 4 years, you can graduate High School. In 4 years, I hear that some people (keyword SOME) graduate College. Well in my case, in 4 years I have seen my life completely changed. Before I go any further I must be clear that I am far from where I want to be as a man of God, and yet a lot closer than I was 4 years ago. 4 years ago, I naively accepted a job as a Life Teen Youth Minister. Before I could begin this ministry, I needed to head out to the Life Teen Training in Arizona. However, God decided that he would start to kick my butt a little before I even left. The reality was that at this point in my life, I was very proud to SAY I was Catholic, but not so great at actually BEING Catholic. I had been in the same, unhealthy relationship with this girl for many years, and around this same time I had finally decided to cut ties. Although I was free from this bad relationship, the single life was not doing my soul and favors. Rather than seeing this single life as a chance to grow closer to God, I saw it as a green light for selfish sin. As the date of my Arizona trip grew closer, particular events in my life began to occur at a chaotic speed. Looking back I feel that perhaps God knew I needed to have a few things in line before I even got to Arizona, and knowing that the Dumb (soon to be) Youth Minister wouldn't be willing to act on it, God forced his way in. The first life-changing event occurred with the passing of my best friend and dearly loved Nana. My Grandma, Judi Cull (Nana), passed away not so suddenly after a long fight with cancer. I grieved. This woman absolutely helped me become the man I am today. To some this may have been the biggest kick-start that God could give, however the biggest would come immediately after. Keep in mind the whirlwind speed at which God began to shake my life. On the day my Nana passed, I was set to have my first date with this beautiful woman Amber. Through my mourning, I knew that there was no way I could miss this night with Amber. Mostly because I was not sure that she would agree to another date. When the most beautiful woman you have ever seen agrees to a date, you DO NOT give her a chance to wise up to the fact that you are not worthy! The date was amazing, but it was the 2nd date a few days later that sealed the deal for me. Amber invited me to her father's ordination into the Diaconate of the Catholic Church. As I met Amber in the pews of the Cathedral, I remember kneeling with her to pray. Now keep in mind that 4 years ago if I made Mass on a Sunday I was doing pretty good! As we knelt together, I felt an undeniable presence, as if God had wrapped His arms around us as a sign of approval. That evening as I prepared my bags for Arizona, I told Amber that I simply had to be her boyfriend.

The next morning I boarded the plane to Arizona. For the sake of keeping this already long blog to being any longer, I must summarize my experience at Life Teen's Training Convention. Simply put, for the first time I was surrounded by men and women who were doing there best to live out their faith, and this intrigued me. The mass moved me like it had never moved me before, the speakers spoke of God as if he was a personal friend, and men and women visually witnessed the beauty of a family and in the last night, as I went to the Sacrament of Reconciliation, my life began to change. God made it very clear to me that he had a plan for me, IF I would allow Him to take control. His plan began as soon as I returned home to my new beautiful girlfriend Amber. Over a seemingly innocent lunch, I shared my experience with Amber, and I then told this woman whom I had only known for 2 weeks that I was going to marry her. As I awaited her response, my heart beating hard, a sudden rush of peace came over me as she replied, "I would be surprised if you DON'T marry me." As I am sitting here today, Amber and I have been married almost 2 years now, and in July we will be expecting our first born, a little girl named Emily Grace.

I need to conclude this by re-stating that fact that I am in no way a changed man, and I recognize that I am far from being the man that I want to be. With that said, in the past 4 years God has allowed me to work with the youth of His Church at 3 different parishes. Through the ministry of Life Teen, I have had the honor and the pleasure of seeing countless teens and their families begin to see God as a friend just like the speakers at my first Convention. In my personal life, I strive daily to die to myself ( I also FAIL daily to die to myself). But I can honestly say that God is now a part of my everyday life. I could definitely learn to listen a little more closely to His wants and commands, but nonetheless He is with me everyday of my life. If I have learned anything (which is questionable) over the past 4 years it is that God's plan is very much not our plan, and I think that's a good thing. When we allow God to take control of our lives, great things can happen. In my case, my great things are my beautiful wife, His ministries and of course my little angel Emily Grace whom we eagerly await!